Am Alive. Have Internet. Will Update in Two-ish Days.

I made it here, almost without incident. And by almost, I mean that I ran in front of a bus. It didn't hit me though, so whatever, physics.

The buffalo races were as absurd as you would imagine they were. As was the buffalo fashion show.

As was the cockfighting. And the "White Person Only" seating.

As is my hotel, which appears to be a couples resort. Oh, they love me there. We all just laugh and laugh and laugh...

No, really, I'm having a great time. I have a BOMB-ASS bath tub. I'm right on the beach, and in what turns out to be a collegetown. I guess. I don't know. I'm very confused. Both of the people next to me in this Internet cafe are playing something called "Dancing Hall." Now there is a monkey on the screen wiping his ass.

Where am I?

It starts with a "C' and rhymes with "Lazy Brown Fights."

Me and him, me and him...


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