So, I bet you think this post is going to be about how I spent my first ever birthday outside of America, here in Chiang Mai, here in the Thailand "winter."
Well, you're wrong. This post is going to be exclusively about my anus.
Hey, just kidding! Here is a super-detailed description of my entire day. Everything that I remember. Details will be excised to protect the innocent, and also because they have slipped the trap that is my mind.
I woke up around 10 for class feeling refreshed. I listened to the first three minutes of "Tender" by Blur and walked to work. I arrived at work at approximately 10:45 and made small talk with some co-workers and then went to class. I told them it was my birthday. They sang me Happy Birthday. I told them I was 55. Everyone believed me.
After class a group of students approached and asked if I gave out many Fs. I said I had not given out any Fs yet. They were very, very relieved. But still upset that I didn't speak Thai and that I would not be teaching their English class in Thai. Tough noogies, I told them. They did not know what either of those words meant.
I taught two more classes. Both of them were absolutely shocked that they were stuck with a White person teaching them English. I'll write about this later, but in all 5 of my classes, when I walked in the room, chaos reigned amongst the students. Total astonishment that I, a white person, was their teacher. Bewilderment. Panic. Dizziness. Disbelief.
At lunch I asked the waiter for something delicious. He suggested "beek gai" which I had never heard of. Well, "gai" means "chicken," so I assumed that it was a "chicken beak."
I was wrong: "beek" in Thai means "wings." I had chicken wings on white rice. Really good ones. Scrumptrilescent.
I told the waiter it was my birthday. He said that I should buy some popcorn. Confusion, you win again.
I went home and watched some Twin Peaks. I ate dinner with Charles at the Rincome Market, my favorite little chicken dish there. Got a banana milkshake--too watery to be effective. Went to see my noodle chef friends, but alas--they weren't there! I have no idea where they went, which is bad, because I borrowed about 30 DVDs from the guy. And because he is my friend and I want to see him. O A where art thou?
After dinner I don't know.