Forget Print Media: Maybe News Is Dying

Here is the Main Headline and Other Highlights for right now, according to my International Edition of

Main Headline
"Death shows footballers are human too"
[Life continues to prove that they are robots?]

Other Site Highlights (I am not cherry-picking: these are all six)
"When actresses dress down"
"'Possessed' flock to Kenya pastor"
"Mood mapping and bipolar disorder"
"Latest sports news in 60 seconds"
"Rugby spurned as Kiwis go soccer crazy"
"Carrie Prejean takes your questions"

Note: Carrie Prejean is apparently a former Miss California who may have lost the Miss America pageant just because she hates gay people. When asked what she thought of gay marriage:

Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman.

Do you think it's great that people can choose one way or another?

To paraphrase Colin Quinn on Weekend Update: Thank you, Carrie. We all look forward to hearing the rest of your opinions at the next boat show.

Now, you may be thinking, "All of this fluff is presented only because nothing significant is happening in the World on this November 11 eve. Slow news day."

Right? [Seriously, when is Venezuela not declaring war on people and mobilizing their military? They're like the boy who cried Lobo] [I wonder what Carrie Prejean's favorite brand of yogurt is?] [Whatever, this happens all the time.] [A minor coup.]

Really though, what does happen when actresses dress down? Does it cause a mudslide that kills 130 people in El Salvador?




Wait, I love this, from the Wikipedia page on Carrie Prejean:

On June 15, 2009, the Empowering Spirits Foundation, a national LGBT civil rights organization issued a press release asking for the LGBT community to "move forward and engage in respectful dialogue." A. Latham Staples, the foundation's executive director, was quoted as saying, "Demeaning Carrie Prejean or others by using terms such as bigot will not advance our cause of civil rights and social justice. The LGBT community must use this period of heightened attention on LGBT issues by engaging others in positive ways.” Staples went on to wish Prejean "much success in her future endeavors."[20][21]

Prejean returned the favor by thanking A. Latham Staples and fully reciprocating his warmth, identically wishing him "much success in his own future endeavours."

"Unless those future endeavours involve getting married to another man," she clarified. "In which case, fuck you."


AthensPoops said...

you're missing the real news.. Carrie Prejean sex tape!

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