A Friendly Holiday Reminder: Your Dumb Cousin Might Be The Zodiac Killer

Even though I know that everyone who reads this blog (my mother, my father, me) is Jewish, I thought I would pass this along.

I was watching Zodiac earlier today, and one of the key clues linking the Zodiac letter-writer to probable(?) serial-killer Arthur Leigh Allen is that both of them spell Christmas with two S's: "Christmass"

Now, the Zodiac Killer was never caught, and Allen is no longer a suspect, so that means the Zodiac killer could really be anyone, regardless of age, sex, or plausibility. I was given this reminder when a student wrote me a note wishing me a "Merry Christmass"--could Gift, a 19 year old Thai girl, be the Zodiac Killer? Yes, she could be, and so could anyone.

I would advise anyone who sees a friend, relative, colleague, or tall-but-stocky 80 year old man living in the California area using the spelling "Christmass" to immediately issue a citizen's arrest, which may or may not be a real thing. I for one have citizen's arrested (verb?) Gift, and she is in custody with someone who I can only assume is a police officer, given that he was wearing a uniform of some kind and also had a gun. Also note that Dunkin Donuts workers here carry guns*

*not true.

The Zodiac Killer is still out there, people, and he is still killing (the environment with his carbon footprint). Don't let up. Don't let the Zodiac ruin another young Vallejo couple's Christmass.

2 comments:

bonitis said...

who cares if DD employees dont carry guns? those donuts are just as lethal!

im not jewish

Fannie Bialek said...

actually many people spell it with two S's, particularly in the Bible Belt, where it's often written as "Christ Mass" or "Christ's Mass. Especially popular in Tennessee, and meant to express a more literal understanding of the holiday distinct from its commercialized, contemporary form. Ok, I'm done; sorry.

Also though—recently, your blog consistently loads for me with ads for various Ashlee Simpson-Wentz endeavors. do you have hidden text? and why did they decide to hyphenate?

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